Thank You 2010

This year I learned alot. I learned how to look at and love myself through another person's eyes and that at any time love, learning and spiritual awakening can happen in our lives no matter what we think our shortcomings might be. Its never too late!!! We are all ageless, timeless beings trying to find our way back to that source of unconditional love. In trying to know ourselves and be true to our potential we are cultivating our divinity.

I learned that I don't know as much as I think I do! I learned how to ride a bike off-road! Its ok to do the dishes even when its not your turn. That I can follow a recipe and cook! I can be a little judgmental from time to time.

I learned how to close my eyes, jump and take some risks. I traveled on the road for three weeks in a R.V. down south. I finally got to kiss the ground where Georgia O'Keefe tred and wander amongst her sacred land of the Ghost Ranch, her home in Abiquiu New Mexico and cast my eyes on her beloved mountain the Pernadal. WOW! I learned that I still have a great passion burning inside me to express myself as a artist.

Hot flashes are better that beating on a dead horse, being paranoid or having a temper tantrum! Temper tantrums, understood, can be enlightening. Helpful people can show up where you least expect them. The Goddess is everywhere and magic is afoot. Fairies exist! Sometimes silence and stillness is god's way of saying, rest here because I've got something for you to do up ahead and your the only one who can do it! I've learned that restlessness is cured by immersing yourself in new area of study.

I have learned this year that love is not something to be taken for granted, its something you have to work on and be grateful for everyday. How precious is it to have someone love you even though they know all your flaws and failings. Thank you creator.

Wishing everyone happy new year and to have a wonderful year of learning in 2011!

The Archetypal Forest

These days I find that my menopause is so in my face because I am in it, with no apparent escape. I am traversing through an unknown forest with no path up ahead and no way of escape behind. This is a dense, thick, wordless forest. The worst part is I don't have a machete or compass to navigate the wall of green, that's when I sit down and cry or rage against the world. A world it seems that does not understand or honor my change into becoming a crone.

At times of deep transformation and spiritual change the loneliness is palatable. My spouse thinks I am losing my mind and I feel that I am. Losing it in order to it gain in back in a whole new way. Visions and dreams have been profound. My partner who is quite sensitive has been seeing lots of spirit movement and paranormal activity around the house, but I see very little right now. Even my invisible friends feel like they have left me or gone on a hiatus. I just see the changes in my own body, and energy field.

In Native Spirituality we believe that when a woman goes through the menopausal change she takes on the energy of the Sun. That is some powerful stuff, imagine if there is sunspot activity while this is going on. She is meant to take this energy and channel for the benefit of her community, as a wise woman, elder, teacher or healer. I hope I can measure up to the challenge.

Travel is good for you

Recently I have been drawn to the southwestern United States. I traveled there when I was younger, to me the area was very energetically charged. Not having engaged in my spirituality as much as I am now I did not understand, why the draw?

My third trip in recent years and I am beginning to understand. There is something there that reminds me of my past, and connects me to the very best in myself. Sometimes it is good to touch base with a part of our home, the Earth, that you, for some unexplained reason are drawn to. I believe something in our memory banks whether it is from this lifetime or a past lifetime wants us back there to draw strength. The Earth is a living being, she is our mother. She wants to nurture and heal us. She also wants our respect, nurturing and healing back.

When we travel on the planet, with love, awe and respect. When we silently observe life's mystery, we can expect a few magical surprises and bring back into our lives a small portion of her great healing strength.

" The force that through the green fuse drives the flower
Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees "
Dylan Thomas

Spiritual journeys

It is so difficult to be back after a trip to your spiritual homeland, a place where one's mind and imagination can take flight. This is the place for spirit to take hold of us and get our attention. When we get out of the busyness of city life and take time to recharge and possibly get inspired. I recently returned from a trip to southwestern United States where I traveled extensively in Arizona, southern Utah and New Mexico.

This trip was particularly satisfying because I was traveling with my boyfriend who is also very sensitive and spiritual so we shared on many levels our experiences. It is so refreshing for me to have someone who shares and senses my experiences of the paranormal. I have felt so very alone at times because no one sees or senses what I do. After this trip I know my partner doubts himself a little less and embraces his sensitivity. Which is a joy for me to watch as he blooms forth like a flower and lets go of a false self so many of us develop in order to blend into society's or our family's image of us, who we should be.

We visited Monument Valley, we talked about the valley as we were being toured by our Navajo guide. The images we were seeing. I mentioned that this whole area is sacred to the Navajo. This was my third tour of the buttes over three and a half years, I suddenly understood that the buttes are mirrors to the soul. The buttes would reflex back whatever you needed to see in your soul that is important in this time to your development.

A spirit greeted me during our trip. Almost immediately as if sensing the communication, the guide shared with me there were water spirits located at that Mesa and described ceremonies they did to honor them. Later that night we camped by the buttes and my partner and I both had healing experiences with the water spirits and spirits that came on the wind all through the night. We both experienced physical, emotional and spiritual sensations that could not be doubted or refuted by his logic.

Its so important to travel to places you have an emotional or spiritual draw to, then to honor the spirits and ask for help. They love to help us and are longing for us to connect with them.
The Earth is waiting for us to heal with her.

Time travel

Here I am once again on the blogsphere. I wish I was here more to talk with you all. Its not that I don't get inspired to write, but my hormonal brain-fog has me focused on my book these days. So much magic is occurring that I tend to record these events in my journal to be transferred to my book writing.

There is so much negative news out there; the oil spill expanding its reach over the gulf, the G-20 summit here in Toronto which seems to inspire fear and overspending, sickness, death and poverty worldwide. Not to diminish these events but to try to see the world in balance I share with you some moments in nature.

I just returned from Algonquin park and many moments of magic happened there.

Canoeing on a lake surrounded by a soft downy substance gifted from trees, which gently floated on the lake surface. Our canoe glided over black endless waters, where light danced under sheer rock faces. I imagined primeval forests inhabited by an ancient people who understood the language of plants and animals, the words uttered at creations grand moment. The echo of my paddle dipping in the water, comprehending water's movement as King Loon graced us with his presence. A moose crossed the road at dusk and enveloped me in a hush as he turned to look back. He acknowledges me as silence salutes the moment and the black eyes of a primordial giant are reabsorbed into a veil of emerald green.

It is difficult to return to the city with all its strange concerns.

Violence and Healing

When I blogg here I am sure the topics that I write about other people are writing about all over the planet. I can only hope to write in a way that may bring light and healing to others and that they can learn from my mistakes. I so wish I had someone to mentor me when I was a young person and this is my dream is that others might read what I have written, gain some insight and heal. I wish that for all the young people on the planet who’ve been hurt by violence at a young age.

One of the things I notice frequently in my practice is how often people are out of touch with their emotions. We can only be taken advantage of by others, if we have unresolved issues from the past and are afraid to be vulnerable and feel our feelings. Feelings energetically are the life-song of the universe and connect us to our Creator. Often if we have experiences of violence at an early age we may close down emotionally in order to survive. It is too painful to fully comprehend that our parents (or a trusted family member) are violating us (the people we depend on and that we love unconditionally as innocent children), are taking away our right to thrive. We close down because the emotions we feel are too scary and powerful for our little selves to comprehend. So we shut down in order to be able to be there.

This anger, grief and rage if unexpressed will come at us from the universe and we’ll continue to be drawn to it unless we look at this, heal it, bring it out into the light and learn to feel so we will recognize people who wish to subjugate us. It has been a long journey for me to overcome the violence I endured as a child, my wounds have made me who I am today and one should not be ashamed of these dark places that have defined us from our past. But I believe and am living proof that one can overcome and work with this painful stuff and use it as a force for creative actualization for ones own future.

The Olympics and Hormones

I don't know what it is about the winter Olympics this year but its really getting on my every nerve. Maybe its because all those female hormones are raging through my system right now and its causing me to look at the world in an intense new light. I'm not sure.

I feel as though if one is "not" into watching every little nuance of drama, competition, figure skating triple cow-saws or athletes calling press conferences to expound their agendas (and make themselves forever infamous in front of millions of viewers) then somehow I am not patriotic. My boyfriend and I even had a heated argument because I did not share his enthusiasm regarding the video drone pulling him toward the t.v. set to watch something that was happening "live".

I feel that the olympics is a corporate, elitist, agenda pushing vehicle that is no longer about the spirit of the human body and all that it can accomplish when pushed to its outer limits (without steroids and cheating of course). Olympic athletes are even referred to as elite athletes these days.

We are so focused on ourselves and our own navel gazing that guess what, we forgot about the disaster in Haiti, the condition of our planet, our shrinking fresh water supplies and our out of control population density. Oh I forgot to mention all the homeless that were displaced and the desperate conditions on the streets of Vancouver. Now Vancouver is all shiny and new just in time for the Olympic fantasy.

That my friends is why I do not participate in the Olympic apparition (a.k.a. the establishment of the spectacle), it might be a little lonely over here, but its a REAL lonely.